Disappointment

by Caroline on March 28, 2012

Watch out, because here comes Mama Bear.

Happy Bubbles

My usual, happy Bubbles

My 11.5 yo. Bubbles came home from her youth service trip last night. I expected a tired but excited girl, eager to tell us everything she’d seen and done.

That’s not what I got.

I got a subdued, quiet Bubbles, which, let me tell you, is not the norm. We sat down to dinner, and she barely picked at her food. We kept asking questions about her trip and the places they were supposed to go. And finally, the dam broke.

She felt excluded by the other girls. It seemed to her that everyone was paired up, and she was left out. And when she tried to join a few of them, she was told, “We’re not talking to you!” And who wants to keep trying after rejection like that? Even the one girl she thought she could count on let herself be led around by another, more forceful girl, and didn’t stick up for Bubbles when Bubbles wanted to sit with them, or just talk with them.

I was afraid this was going to happen. I called the pastor going with the group last week to fill her in on Bubbles’ ADHD, and asked her to look out for her. I know there were a bunch of kids and a million details to attend to, but I wish somebody had been tuned in to how Bubbles was faring. Maybe I should have talked to a parent┬áchaperon, also.

I know this is something that often happens to kids with ADHD. They don’t always understand social cues, and are so eager to have friends and play that other kids can be overwhelmed or made uncomfortable by them. Try to stay away. Label them weird. But Bubbles is so darn friendly, and (I think) fun, and it hacks me off that not only do they not see that, but they make an effort to keep her away.

Hate is a strong word. But last night, with Bubbles in tears at the dinner table, I’m pretty sure that’s what I felt. Why do kids have to be so mean?

 

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

GmaG March 28, 2012 at 9:03 pm

I think that all of us at some time or other have been through a similar situation; not just kids with ADHD. Unaccountably even Christian kids are very shallow and uncaring at times; self gets in the way and they want their way and only their “friends”. Tell Bubbles that God does see their behavior and her’s. He knows when she is hurt and loves her and strengthens her for what she bravely suffers through. Pray with her and let her tell God her hurt feelings so He can confort her and help her forgive. She will be a stronger more confident little Christian knowing that God approves of the way she can handle herself and smile because she can be friendly to others.

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Caroline April 26, 2012 at 8:49 am

That’s pretty much what I did. It’ll take time for her to feel comfortable around them again, though.

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Karen March 29, 2012 at 4:14 am

GmaG can say that way better than I can.

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Caroline April 26, 2012 at 8:49 am

Yeah, moms are like that. :-D

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