Is Behavior a Matter of Perspective?

by Caroline on June 25, 2012

Right now the girls and I are visiting my family in Colorado (Decoder Man had to stay home), and I’m struck anew with the realization that how you think about or react to things/people in your life all depends on your perspective.

M-bug in Rays of Sunset

M-bug in the sunset. The smoke from the CO and NM fires created the rays of light in the sky.

Case in point: Both my girls have ADHD. M-bug is more the inattentive type, but Bubbles can be very much hyperactive, in a girly sort of way. She’s extremely excitable, bouncing around, loud, can’t stay still, etc.  Naturally, because I’m with her all the time, I expect her to act that way, and interact with her based on my expectation of those behaviors.

My mom, however, hasn’t seen the girls in a year. So when, the other day, she commented on how much calmer and grown up Bubbles is, I was quick to write it off as simply the effect of her ADHD medication. But after I thought about it, I realized that might not be the only thing affecting her behavior. My mom is treating her like a young lady and expects more of her, and she responds to that. She looks older, and since my mom treats her that way, she acts it too.

Bubbles in Rays of Sunset

Bubbles in the sunset. The smoke in the air made for a stunning sunset.

See what I mean? I wonder if my own behavior — no expectation of her controlling herself — actually influences her to think she can’t control herself, so she doesn’t. Because I expect an out of control, bouncy, hyper Bubbles, that’s the Bubbles I get.

I don’t know the answer, but I’ll take the cue from my mom and treat her like she’s older, can be in control, and see what happens. It certainly can’t hurt.


 

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